He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
