I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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