there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
What drink are we having for lunch?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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