tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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