seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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