If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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