just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
