Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize