...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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