You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
this boner is exhausting
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
