Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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