Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
