You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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