I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
