He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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