He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize