i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
