she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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