Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
