Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
