guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
