do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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