fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Boobs speak an international language.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
