I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
