you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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