I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
