I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
