Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
