ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
