I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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