I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
