I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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