Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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