Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
