I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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