to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
