i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
