We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
it hurts more in the daytime
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
