awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize