best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
