Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize