It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
