my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
