My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
