You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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