Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
