Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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