Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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