you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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