well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
