saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
