They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
