In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
