My sheets look like a crime scene.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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