Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
