I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
