hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
