I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
