This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
