It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
